Ireland go for zero

Ireland have selected Irlande Douze Pointe as their entry for this year’s Eurosong. It might make more sense if you’re Irish, but overseas it sounds like “Waaaah! We don’t win anymore!” It’ll be worse than that because first Ireland has to get out of the semi-final stage. It’s surprising. I would have thought the British would be much more likely to crack. Actually Austria has beaten both countries by withdrawing due to geopolitical voting. In contrast the UK’s entries Scooch’s Flying the Flag or Jemini’s Cry Baby have been more due to collective insanity than satire.

My Euro predictions are:

• Once again the Germans will enter the most talented act, and once again it will be ignored. No, I’ve not heard the German entry.

• Russia in contrast will win with a forgettable song and Western Europeans will bitterly complain about block voting, despite Russia having never won the contest before. No, I’ve not heard the Russian entry.

• Terry Wogan will suffer a heart attack after Greece and Cyprus both give 12 points to Turkey. The ensuing diplomatic incident will lead to allegations of assassination and mutual expulsions of ambassadors.

Alas we’ll have to wait for another year until someone persuades Neil Hannon to enter “My Lovely Horse“.