P is for?

A true story.

A few years back, the early nineties I think, there was a minor outrage in the West Midlands. Children were coming back from school with shocking news. P, they were told as they learned the alphabet, was for Panda. Naturally there was uproar. For years P had been for Pig. The fabric of society was under threat how could P possibly be for Panda?

The reason the change has been made was to accomodate Muslim children. They had been taught that pig was a dirty word and so rather than cause the children distress, the school simply changed the picture to Panda. They completely ignored the social import that P being for Pig had, though to be fair until they made the change no-one had noticed that P is for Pig was such an important part of British life.

My opinion is that I’m none too bothered what P is for. On the one hand the taboo is nonsensical. But I hardly feel that I’m under the yoke of a repressive regime because P is now for Panda rather than Pig. Yes you could bring the burning torch of enlightenment to enrich the Muslim children’s lives and show that P can indeed be for pig, but why bother? Is it really necessary to cause anguish to five year olds to prove a point? As they grow up all the kids will have to get used to the word pig, Muslim or not. Bacon is one of the joys of life, especially when it’s slightly charred from being in the pan too long. The word Pig is essential if you want to seriously discuss bacon, and there should be free and frank criticism of all meats (and vegetarianism) in school.

The argument shouldn’t have been what P was for. It’s should have been about to what extent Pigs and other non-halal animals should be withdrawn from a civilised school. That would be an important debate. But to insist that P is for Pig purely to force a minority to conform isn’t the action of someone who wants an intelligent debate. It’s just an attempt to pick a fight.

On a not dissimilar note I see PZ Myers has been paying more attention to the news than I have.